I have this weird love/hate relationship with Grindr and I guess I want some input. I used to have a droid phone and I downloaded grindr and chatted to a couple guys but nothing ever came of it. I'm not ready for random hookups so I didn't really pursue anything or really put much effort into flirting back. I decided that I didn't want to have a random hookup be my first time so I deleted grindr and stopped checking out craigslist.
When I got my new phone I downloaded it again, then deleted it, download, delete, download, etc. Then when I went to my friends last week I wanted to check out guys in the area I guess so I downloaded it. Since then I have kept it and had a few guys send the usual "sup" and "got a pic". I didn't upload a pic because I don't think I'm exactly attractive, not that I'm completely ugly. But I didn't even put together a profile its just a name so its not like these guys are into my personality. But at the same time I don't know any gay guys so I don't know how to approach the situation. And I probably sound like an idiot lol but these are the things I think about.
I usually look a situation and over analyze it in every possible way. I will think about how one person would react, then what they would say, to who they would say it, and what I would say. Then I would turn and look at the situation from what if the persons reaction were different. Its fucking draining to go through all the scenarios in my head but if I'm not actively involved in a conversation with someone then I am processing a random situation and outcomes. So any advice would be appreciated.
I'm watching the real world right now and the bi dude on there is a fucking idiot. It's a good thing the lesbian chick is there so people don't think all gay/bi people are douches. Some of the roommates on there have apparently never seen 2 dudes kiss before and freaked out about it. I was starting to think most people in their twenties were pretty ok with homosexuality but somehow MTV managed pick 3 of the remaining phobes and stick them on tv.
Thats all for now I guess. And if you emailed me and my lazy ass still hasn't responded I am sorry am going to do it with in the next couple days. later guys
Heres some pics of Kellan Lutz, yes he is from douchey twilight, but look at that body.lol
Even clothed he's hot.
Glad I didn't get into this season of The Real World, then. Did you watch the season with Mike Manning? He was a much better representative for bisexuals, I thought. And yes, Kellan Lutz is very hot. Kinda makes me want to see him in "The Immortals" (he plays Poseidon).
ReplyDeleteMCL,
ReplyDeleteGrindr, Craigslist, and bathroom/public park sex all have one thing in common: men sexualize other gay/bi men without ever getting to know them as people.
You are too young and still too closeted to engage in such activities without it potentially affecting your self esteem and your opinion of gay/bi men. It might be a different story if you were out, had dated, had gay friends, and could interact with a guy after fucking his brains out on a platonic level. These are skills that develop over time and with personal experience.
I strongly do not recommend that any guy who is exploring his sexuality shop around in the queer meat market. It is neither necessary, nor advisable.
Oh and another thing: If you are in your 20s, you are by definition hot. It's God's little gift to all humans. We are in our 20s and fresh for a brief period of life, then we start falling apart. Learn to love it now, and don't compare yourself to the guys on Grindr. Each one of them has a reason that they are looking for flesh off of their Iphones, and it's not always a good reason.
I feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteI have grindr and always look to see the guys in my area but I never actually message anyone. I feel like I don't want to look for just a hookup since I haven't had a real relationship with a guy yet just like you. It's definitely discouraging.. It's hard to know where to start.
I guess we just have to throw ourselves out there and things will begin to work out...
My first step is trying to find a gay friend to relate to though. I think that will be an easy step into things... but it has yet to happen.
Hey Kevin!
ReplyDeleteI don't know where you live, but even smaller towns have colleges and gay community centers which host discussion groups for gay and bi men who are coming out. You might want to look for one in your area.
Personally, it was great for me when I was coming out. A group of guys would get together to talk about everything under the sun, and then afterwards we would go out and have dinner and maybe go dancing. Good times!