In the last 6 weeks or so my life has changed dramatically. To start with I just moved in with my brother and his girlfriend. We are all renting a house together and I was really excited at the opportunity to live with him because I have never been super close with either of my bros. Obviously I knew that I wanted to come out to him if I was going to be living with him I just never found the right time to tell him, not that I was looking very hard-I was pretty content with taking the easy way and not telling him. A piece of me figured that if I told him before hand that he would change his mind and not want to live with me.
Anyway a couple weeks after we moved in I was drinking one Saturday night and I got this message on Grindr. The dude didn't have a pic but I always reply because I'm not as much concerned with looks as I am getting to know the guy mostly because I never think I will ever meet the guy and I don't hook up anyway. We hit it off and are chatting he sends a pic and is outrageously fucking hot and he gives me his number to text him. We text for a couple weeks and set up a date. I go down to meet him, about 40 minutes from where I live, and we had a great time at dinner and a few drinks. I, being the inexperienced chicken shit that I am, do not attempt to make a move of any sort and the night ends with no kiss. He also had fun and we continue talking and I go back another night to go out, it was a late night date of only drinks and no dinner as he had to work late. I planned to go out for a bit and then stop drinking and drive back home, he is not out to 2 of his roommates so staying with him was unfortunately not an option. Well it turns into a bit of shit show and we end up going to the gay club in town so that we can be more outward with our affection. We get there and are instantly touchy and grabby. He finally makes the move and kisses me and we make out for a bit and he decides that he is getting a room for me at the hotel a few blocks away.
* * * * * * *
We get there and the plan was to cuddle and sleep....... Instead I had sex for the first time! This was not at all what I thought would happen and we got very little sleep that night. It was awesome and I would have done it had I not liked the kid a lot. I end up having to go back to his city for work for a few days the next week and we meet up and eat a couple times and we decide he's going to come up and visit me.
I decide that its not going to end in some hotel and I really want to wake up in my own bed spooning this kid. I get super drunk one Saturday (bottle and a half of wine and some beers) and come out to my brother while we are outside at our fire pit. He was super cool about it and asked questions and told me there was nothing wrong with it, pretty much anything you could want a coming out to be. I told him about the guy I was seeing and he was cool with it. With that done my guy comes up for our date I had planned and it went really awesome; nice dinner, walk around the park, and sitting out back drinking wine listening to music and holding hands. We went to bed at like 11 and woke up at 4:30 and made out some more and talked until 7 when I had to get up and get going. Again it was awesome.
Then it turned to shit. We talked like normal all week and I planned a date for us this last Saturday, he had to work but when he got off he was going to come down and we were going to get sushi and a couple beers and come hang out at my house again. Then Friday afternoon I sent a text and got no reply which was ok he was probably busy at work. Then another when he was off and still nothing. Then Saturday a verification text with yet again no reply. So I said fuck it and went to a music festival and got shitty with my friends mostly cause I felt like I got stood up with no reason.
I am still super pissed that I haven't heard from him. He said he dropped his phone in the toilet on Thursday but was texting fine up until Friday. I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt but I know I'm dumb for doing so after 5 days of no contact. I just keep holding out hope that every time my phone vibrates its him with some excuse or apology because honestly I would accept it. He was the first guy I ever dated and I liked him a lot in only a months time.
Sob story over now I need opinions, if anyone is reading this still. I want to text him and just figure out why the fuck he cut me out of his life so quickly and abruptly. I don't want to look overly clingy and desperate I just an answer so I can stop thinking about what I did wrong. And of course a part of me still holds out that he lost my number while getting a new phone so my text will bring everything back, give me a few minutes of acting like a 15 year old love sick teenager please, pathetic I know. Question what do I say to him? This is my first semi-relationship and my first real dumping?
Thanks again,
and sorry for the lack of hot man pics
Chris
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Anyone there? I hope so because this song needs listened to.
It's been awhile to say the least. This post is going to be kind of short and yet still manage to go 20 different ways.
-Everything is pretty mediocre on my end. Still single, still too afraid to talk with dudes.
-I have gotten over the whining (which is what I felt was all I was doing here) and accepted that nothing is going to change until I grow a pair and takes steps. Once I do that and shit is still sucky then I will complain because I did what I could.
-I'm late to the party with this one but DOMA and PROP 8 are dead!!!!!!! Super pumped about that, I sat at work on SCOTUSblog on my phone waiting for the ruling. I have kind of decided to give -Nebraska a couple years to let me get married and if it looks to distant of a law then I would move eventually, probably to the north east.
-Random story that made me super happy but I was watching Catfish last night on MTV with my brother and it was about 1 dude getting catfished by some other asshole dude. Based on past comments I was expecting him to constantly drop the F-bomb and make fun of them but he didn't. Not once. Maybe he's growing up, or has developed gaydar and doesn't want to offend me.
-I have to go take a nap now, I worked early this morning and have to back tonight so I can have off the 4th. I hate my job.
-Here is an awesome song:
Finally have a safe and fun 4th. This country was founded on the principles of freedom, happiness and equality and I think this year it means a little bit more with the SCOTUS rulings last week, to me at least.
THANKS FOR COMING BACK
-Everything is pretty mediocre on my end. Still single, still too afraid to talk with dudes.
-I have gotten over the whining (which is what I felt was all I was doing here) and accepted that nothing is going to change until I grow a pair and takes steps. Once I do that and shit is still sucky then I will complain because I did what I could.
-I'm late to the party with this one but DOMA and PROP 8 are dead!!!!!!! Super pumped about that, I sat at work on SCOTUSblog on my phone waiting for the ruling. I have kind of decided to give -Nebraska a couple years to let me get married and if it looks to distant of a law then I would move eventually, probably to the north east.
-Random story that made me super happy but I was watching Catfish last night on MTV with my brother and it was about 1 dude getting catfished by some other asshole dude. Based on past comments I was expecting him to constantly drop the F-bomb and make fun of them but he didn't. Not once. Maybe he's growing up, or has developed gaydar and doesn't want to offend me.
-I have to go take a nap now, I worked early this morning and have to back tonight so I can have off the 4th. I hate my job.
-Here is an awesome song:
Finally have a safe and fun 4th. This country was founded on the principles of freedom, happiness and equality and I think this year it means a little bit more with the SCOTUS rulings last week, to me at least.
THANKS FOR COMING BACK
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Catfished?
Hey everyone(which is only a few I know),
As stated last to e I want to get back to this blog again so I'm here to hold up to that.
I joined the gym a few weeks ago...so what right? I have not ever belonged to a gym so signing up was a big step to getting more in shape for me. I have also never been naked/showered in front of people before. I can count on one hand people, besides family, that have seen me with no shirt on. So I wasnervous about this whole thing. I did take gym class when I was a freshman but it was a quick change in the corner while everyone else showered. I'm sure I smelled wonderful the rest of the day at school. Anyway for the first week or so I just went to the gym, worked out, and left. I didn't like being all sweaty in my car and getting my jacket all sweaty so I said fuck it and decided to shower at the gym.
Only problem is my bodies natural reaction to knowing that I'm showering next to a hot dude---erection. Haha. It's like I'm catching up on some puberty things I missed by skipping showers in school. It's not that I'm necessarily attracted to the guy in the stall next to me, I can't see him, it's just the excitement of being that close to a naked guy. Today was my second boner-free shower...haha. I was having to finish my showers in cold water and picturing vaginas(:/ ewww). But I think I finally got flaccid showers figured out. lol.
Now in reference to my title. You all remember this. Well I had to get a new phone since that hookup thing happened and apparently my blocks didn't transfer on Grindr. So guy messages me and we talk for a couple days. Then we start texting and he seems a little off but not so much I can't keep talking and see where it goes. He seems really needy when he drinks and is always crazy insistent that i go spend the night with him even after we have talked about seeming to hit it off and wanting to go out on a date or 2 before it gets physical. However I am too big of a wuss to pull the trigger and meet up with him so we talk allot. He tells me about his work and school which are not the same as original shitty hookup, the pic is also much more attractive.
Then I get messages from a different profile on Grindr that has a similar picture but its hard to say for sure if they are the same. They never message me on the same day and some conversations switched from profile to profile so I figured they were the same guy. Then the other day I log on and see that one of the pics has changed to original shitty hookup and I instantly get pissed and block/delete both profiles.
Not that me and original shitty hookup talked allot that night but from what he told me then vs. now it was all lies one of the times. The schools were different as was the amount of time he lived in the city. I see no point in conversing with a liar. I had also told him this time around about the shitty head I had received this summer which is kind of funny now. Lol. It was nothing like the show Catfish, I don't know how those people date for years with no physical contact or actual seeing of a person.
That's all of the time of yours I will waste. Thanks and I hope those of you with boyfriends have a good Valentines Day.....as for the rest of us we will have a lonely beer.
Haha. Later
As stated last to e I want to get back to this blog again so I'm here to hold up to that.
I joined the gym a few weeks ago...so what right? I have not ever belonged to a gym so signing up was a big step to getting more in shape for me. I have also never been naked/showered in front of people before. I can count on one hand people, besides family, that have seen me with no shirt on. So I wasnervous about this whole thing. I did take gym class when I was a freshman but it was a quick change in the corner while everyone else showered. I'm sure I smelled wonderful the rest of the day at school. Anyway for the first week or so I just went to the gym, worked out, and left. I didn't like being all sweaty in my car and getting my jacket all sweaty so I said fuck it and decided to shower at the gym.
Only problem is my bodies natural reaction to knowing that I'm showering next to a hot dude---erection. Haha. It's like I'm catching up on some puberty things I missed by skipping showers in school. It's not that I'm necessarily attracted to the guy in the stall next to me, I can't see him, it's just the excitement of being that close to a naked guy. Today was my second boner-free shower...haha. I was having to finish my showers in cold water and picturing vaginas(:/ ewww). But I think I finally got flaccid showers figured out. lol.
Now in reference to my title. You all remember this. Well I had to get a new phone since that hookup thing happened and apparently my blocks didn't transfer on Grindr. So guy messages me and we talk for a couple days. Then we start texting and he seems a little off but not so much I can't keep talking and see where it goes. He seems really needy when he drinks and is always crazy insistent that i go spend the night with him even after we have talked about seeming to hit it off and wanting to go out on a date or 2 before it gets physical. However I am too big of a wuss to pull the trigger and meet up with him so we talk allot. He tells me about his work and school which are not the same as original shitty hookup, the pic is also much more attractive.
Then I get messages from a different profile on Grindr that has a similar picture but its hard to say for sure if they are the same. They never message me on the same day and some conversations switched from profile to profile so I figured they were the same guy. Then the other day I log on and see that one of the pics has changed to original shitty hookup and I instantly get pissed and block/delete both profiles.
Not that me and original shitty hookup talked allot that night but from what he told me then vs. now it was all lies one of the times. The schools were different as was the amount of time he lived in the city. I see no point in conversing with a liar. I had also told him this time around about the shitty head I had received this summer which is kind of funny now. Lol. It was nothing like the show Catfish, I don't know how those people date for years with no physical contact or actual seeing of a person.
That's all of the time of yours I will waste. Thanks and I hope those of you with boyfriends have a good Valentines Day.....as for the rest of us we will have a lonely beer.
Haha. Later
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Sorry :(
Hello life.
I'm drunk. ish right now. I would like to apologize for taking an insane break and not writing. I wish I had a cool video blog like socrkid17. He's kind of my hero for doing a video blog....and being so good looking while doing so. :)
What's new with me is nothing. I have come out to no more people since last post. My Loire has had very few changes worth telling. I'm not really friends with Lea and her bf right now. And I'm ok with that. Anyone who can so easily dump thief friends of 5+ years without batting an eye isn't really worth the effort so I'm moving on with trying to make new friends. It's taking some time. I spend a lot of free time on Xbox, ESPN, and at the gym. Did anyone catch the Canada v. USA match the other night? It wasn't too great, we have some work to do to make the World Cup.....
I am currently down 70 lbs since I started keeping track last August. I need to lose 20 more for my vacation to Jamaica this May!! It'll be hard but I'll get there.
I have also been getting to be better friends with my little bro in the last couple months. His GF lives in the same city as me so he visits and we all hang out. He's also pretty toasted right now and I may have to pick him up from her house. Sometimes he acts too much like our dad, which isn't a good thing.
I'm rambling and am sorry. I hope you all are doing well. If I had more to tell I'd update more often. I reallllly want to try to blog more and get shit off my chest so look for a resurgence. Lol.
I guess the one thing new is this guy I met on Grindr. I know I know. Grindr. But he seems pretty legit and cool and wants more than a hookup. The only problem is our schedules and the fact that I'm too big of a bitch to pull the trigger and meet up with him.... Idk why but outgoing is something I've never been....
Anywho glad to be back and I have to wake up in 3 hours.
Adios
I'm drunk. ish right now. I would like to apologize for taking an insane break and not writing. I wish I had a cool video blog like socrkid17. He's kind of my hero for doing a video blog....and being so good looking while doing so. :)
What's new with me is nothing. I have come out to no more people since last post. My Loire has had very few changes worth telling. I'm not really friends with Lea and her bf right now. And I'm ok with that. Anyone who can so easily dump thief friends of 5+ years without batting an eye isn't really worth the effort so I'm moving on with trying to make new friends. It's taking some time. I spend a lot of free time on Xbox, ESPN, and at the gym. Did anyone catch the Canada v. USA match the other night? It wasn't too great, we have some work to do to make the World Cup.....
I am currently down 70 lbs since I started keeping track last August. I need to lose 20 more for my vacation to Jamaica this May!! It'll be hard but I'll get there.
I have also been getting to be better friends with my little bro in the last couple months. His GF lives in the same city as me so he visits and we all hang out. He's also pretty toasted right now and I may have to pick him up from her house. Sometimes he acts too much like our dad, which isn't a good thing.
I'm rambling and am sorry. I hope you all are doing well. If I had more to tell I'd update more often. I reallllly want to try to blog more and get shit off my chest so look for a resurgence. Lol.
I guess the one thing new is this guy I met on Grindr. I know I know. Grindr. But he seems pretty legit and cool and wants more than a hookup. The only problem is our schedules and the fact that I'm too big of a bitch to pull the trigger and meet up with him.... Idk why but outgoing is something I've never been....
Anywho glad to be back and I have to wake up in 3 hours.
Adios
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