damn u

I thought my sexuality was confusing enough. After hanging out with U this weekend I am completely fucking lost on where he stands. As I said I have accepted him a friend and nothing more, I am not going to waste my time holding on to some straight guy fantasy that has a 1 in 1 million chance of happening. Those were my perceived odds 2 days ago, now they seem alot better.
U and his gf came up Saturday and we were going to go to the elite 8 soccer game downtown. (anyone with google can probably figure out where I live now, but who cares). We got there Saturday and sat at the stadium in the snow for an hour. They announced the lineups and we were ready for kickoff when the decided to postpone the game until Sunday. assholes. We decided to do the only reasonable thing and hit up the bar at 2pm. We sat there for a long time and it kept snowing outside. U and gf decided they were going to stay in a hotel so they didn't have to make the drive again today. He instantly volunteered me to stay in the hotel with them, even though my house is 25 minutes away. I was down with it, it just meant more time hanging out at the bars. Anyway there were alot of times where there was like awkward eye contact and weird smiles. I have no idea how to explain it. I just know that I am not going to come on to him or make a move or anything because he knows I'm gay and I don't want to lose one of the few friends who I have came out to. But it was all just weird small things going on that caught my attention. After a long 10 hours at the bar we had enough and went to the hotel. Here is what really threw me off. We got a room with 2 queen beds and obviously I would have my own bed and U and gf would share. As we were getting ready for bed U was laying in his bed talking to me and gf was looking the other way doing her own thing. As we were talking he started to pull his pants down on the left side which is where I was, like pants and boxers. He was doing it slowly and while talking to and looking at me and he just kept going until he got to right above his junk and so could see a fair amount of ass cheek. I had no idea what to do or say so I just looked away.
what the fuck??????????????????????????????????????????
Its hard enough to not want more than friendship with him. If he were gay he would be the perfect guy. And if not I need to find the gay version of him. He looked really good yesterday, with and without clothes.haha.
I think gf is a really nice and all but I don't really see how U is dating her. Her sense of humor is extremely bland and she restates everything that she hears that she thinks is funny in a less than funny way that results in a forced laugh from U. I thinks that U just really wants to start a family and make his parents proud. They really want grandkids and U has had this ridiculous schedule he set when he was younger of a timeline to accomplish certain things, marriage and kids included. I just feel that he is sticking to it because it seems easier than coming out..
.
.
Anyway the soccer game was fun today, super cold but it was worth it.
Hope you guys all had a good weekend. peace out