Do I go out alone to meet guys??
I know I sound like a friendless introvert but I don't see the point in going out with people who don't know and trying to catch a dudes eye while avoiding the attention of the people I'm actually with.
I really want to go to downtown even if its alone just to be in the area of town where everyone goes out. But at the same time I don't want to be "that guy" who goes to the bar alone and sits there alone just drinking the night away. alone.
Yes the simple solution is to just tell all my friends and family I'm gay and live life....but shit isn't that easy and "happily ever after".
Let me know please! If I get enough responses soon maybe I'll try and savage the night.haha.
A couple off subject things. What happened to RJ? Maybe his life is just going so well he didn't to to vent, if so thats awesome.
#2. I cannot fucking wait for the College World Series in a few weeks. I have gone every year for the last 7 years and it is one of the funnest things ever. I highly recommend coming if your team makes the tourney, or if your just bored. There are also a lot of hot college dudes there to see their schools play, and it gets hot, and they get shirtless, and painted.haha
thats all, hope to get some comments. thanks
I'll respond just because you asked for responses. I have no clue how to help you. I don't date, I only know how to hook up Via the internet. Granted, that's led to a couple of FWBs, but I really wouldn't call that dating.
ReplyDeleteI think your chances of meeting a suitable guy (for dating) is pretty low just by going to bars and clubs. Sure, you can meet guys for hookups but that doesn't seem to be what you are asking. You also could get hit upon by creeps. Most other gay guys tend to go to clubs and bars with their friends. You would stand out -- being alone.
ReplyDeleteYour best bet is referrals from friends and family -- give them some background on what you are looking for so they can filter out the undesirables for you. Even the people you've told who live in another town may know someone in your place -- so ask them to help search for you.
You next choice would be online dating (not hookup sites -- altho there's even anecdotal evidence that people do meet that way) -- where at least they will pair you up with someone that has some similar interests. It's less of shot in the dark with a random dude at the bar. Even then, you know the rules -- meet first at a public place, let someone know where you went, don't go back with him until you feel safe, comfortable, and can trust him.
Are there any LGBT clubs or associations in your area you can join to meet people?
I want to second the idea of online dating. It's how I met my bf and I also made several friends too. OkCupid is a good one (it's free). If you make some friends that way, then you'd have someone to go to the bars with!
ReplyDeleteI wont say anything about online dating: I never did it so I'll have to keep my mouth shut about that. I can only say that when I would have had internet when I was single and studying, I would have tried it. But since I'm veeerry old lol it just wasn't that common then.
ReplyDeleteFirst I went out alone a few times, but I'm not too happy about what happened. That time I was stuck at the bar, I was hit on by creeps the whole time. That time I tried it by dancing on a stage, same story. That time I tried by dancing in between the other people, I was picked by a guy while doing 'the kissing dance' (that's a silly habit over here - they play that song 'La Bamba' and then everyone dances in a circle with one guy in the middle that pick's out another to kiss and than so on), ended up in his bed without knowing him and it sucked completely haha. Worst experience ever.
I do have good experiences though with going to LGBT-activities. I know, I had prejudices too suspecting all sissyboys and a fake atmosphere. But I finally went, yes ALONE, made lots of gay friends there, could come to terms with my sexuality seeing other 'normal' gay guys, and finally find my boyfriend there after some weeks. Activities included everything, from swimming to an Italian coocking initiation to bowling, seeing a movie, throwing a party, playing sily games... so everybody would be able to enjoy at least some activities. I honestly don't know how my life would be like if I didn't go there, but I do know my depression and isolated feeling disappeared immediately.
Going back to the same gay parties I went alone before, but this time with friends I knew from the LGBT-activities, was so much more fun! And even if you don't find a boyfriend, you'll be much more attractive being there with friends than without. You have to be very outgoing to make contact with someone (else than creeps) going out alone, and I'm not (that much).
I don't know if there is anything like that in your area though, I can only hope for you.
btw that College World series seems yummie ;-)
i've always ended up at gay bars after getting drunk somewhere else, so i'm not sure what it would be like to go there intentionally sober/semi-sober. but i think if you feel confident enough to go and actually talk with any guys you are interested in (even if you get shot down) you should try it.
ReplyDeleteand i'm not sure what happened to RJ either. i just noticed his blog is down....