Its late I have been watching and reading the news and I couldn't be happier for anyone serving now that DADT is finally gone. But watching everyone elses happiness make me realize how depressed and trapped I feel in my life right now. One thing that's weird for me is to express my feelings to others. So this blog is a way for me to do that, yet at the same time I feel like deleting this because it feels overly emo.
I live in probably the shitiest place in the midwest to be gay. I moved to the outskirts of a city 2 hours from home hoping the area would be more accepting and conducive to me feeling comfortable being me...wrong. I managed to move into an area almost more conservative than the 1,100 person town I graduated in. I know poor me, but you guys are the only people I can talk to about this shit. There is nothing keeping me here right now besides a lease I can't afford to break, only 9 more months!
This is just rambling about me feeling depressed and lonely. As I have written before I don't know any gay guys. And the few I see around are extremely effeminate and aren't the type of guys I would approach. Not that I am looking to start dating or having sex, although I am tired of waking up alone. Just some guys that I could be me around and meet people who know how I feel and what I have gone through. So how about this for now.
Since I need some bros to talk to and we all have to internet send me an email. Again not something I normally do but I guess I'm feeling kind of needy today.lol. I would love to chat with some of you guys.
This is why I hate having week days off, no football or drinking leaves time for thinking. Thanks for attending my pity party.haha
I saw a survey recently on attitudes to gays in my country (Australia) and the most homophobic regions were the outer suburban fringes of big cities. Since I moved out of the small country town I grew up in I've always lived in or near the inner city gay-friendly areas of my city. I'd never live anywhere else. For the last couple of years I've taught in a school on the outskirts. It's another world out there.
ReplyDeleteHave you used grindr before? (It is an iPhone app - for android too but not as good) Try that you might find some guys that are more your style on there that you normally wouldn't be able to tell are gay.
ReplyDeleteBeen to the pity party many times. Finding other guys who are into guys is much harder in the country. Your lease is up in 9 months. That is a pretty short time, and soon you can move to an area where you would like to be.
ReplyDeleteJust started my own blog too, so good luck with yours! Socrkid gave us both a shoutout together, you can find mine at http://belgiangguy.blogspot.com/ If you want to talk shoot me an email belgiangguy@yahoo.com cause I can't find yours.
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm right there with you. It can be really frustrating, especially now at our age (I'm 24), and all my friends are starting to get engaged and what not. It can be really difficult, but you just gotta press on through. I'll send you an email later though, for if you need or want to chat about stuff.
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